Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
