He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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