Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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