We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
bring money and cleavage
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
