question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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