It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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