you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize