like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
