he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
