I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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