how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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