ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
