i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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