"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
