..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Randomize
