dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
