We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
