how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
