Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
