I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
