Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
