she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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