Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
