woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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