I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
