i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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