You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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