some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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