So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
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GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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