i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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