I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
well I can't set my house on fire every night
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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