I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
