there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
