I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
