I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
