I never want to see another naked old woman again.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
did i walk over a car last night?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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