I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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