Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize