yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He felt like a one man threesome
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
