ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
