Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
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Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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