Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize