Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
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I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
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She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
These tits shall not be calmed
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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