I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
