butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
