some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
