her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you win again, gameday.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
