White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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