You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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