Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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