I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Pooping to opera.
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