The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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