I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
