The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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