No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
