redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
