actually, I'm a sock model
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
