i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
