Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
