Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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