I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
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And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
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i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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